This year I turned 51 and one of the great ironies of my story is that I now experience myself as one of the happiest, most content and emotionally balanced people I meet.
This was not always the case…
There was a time when I couldn’t control my negative thoughts. I couldn’t separate who I really was from the traumas I experienced.
I hid shame, pain and self-loathing. I shut my heart and buried my voice. I worked hard to mask the unlovable parts and create a perfect shell. I tried not to offend or draw the dislike of anyone…
Most people will cite extrinsic constraints for their inability to achieve their goals. But, outer forces are rarely the reason that we fall short of our potential. The true saboteur (or celebrator) of your dreams is always an insider.
If you’re not achieving your most important goals - whether that’s for better health, increased income, the relationship, career or lifestyle that you really want - you likely have a subconscious program running beneath your conscious awareness that is keeping you stuck.
Why do you do it? You have a goal, a desire for improvement, whether pertaining to your career, finances, health or love life…
You want it.
It would be great — maybe even fulfill a life-long dream.
But, you’ve been creeping toward the finish line for some time now.
What’s really blocking this next evolution for you?
I see it all the time in my clients who’ve been struggling to attain long-sought-after goals. They have a detectable split going on within them, a conflict between:
what they want
what they don’t want
THE — SAME — THING.
Perfection becomes an -ism and an inner voice when we believe:
“Perfectionism will make me a better person.”
“Perfectionism will force me to do better work”.
“Perfectionism will hide my flaws and keep me from accumulating new ones.”
“Perfectionism will make me seem more virtuous…”
Perfectionism is a liability.
Perfectionism keeps you from achieving your dreams.
Perfectionism dulls your engagement with the world.
Perfectionism limits your ability to contribute.
Perfectionism causes pain.
Perfectionism is a front for shame. It’s a way to hide it, even from yourself.
If you want to evolve into the most excellent version of…
“There is no heavier burden than an unfulfilled potential.”
— Charles Schulz
No matter who you are, you have something to offer the world that it needs.
No matter how old or young you are, it’s not too late or too early. The best time is now.
You’re here for your own evolution, but you’re also here to contribute to evolution.
Your ability to deliver on this inherent promise directly correlates to your level of wellbeing and overall life satisfaction.
Each of us lends a note to this greater symphony, whether we are conscious of it or not.
You want to trust your intuition, follow your own authority and live by your own inner guidance.
But when you venture inside yourself for clarity, you’re confronted by more than one voice.
You might even find a whole chorus clamoring to offer their two cents, now that you asked.
Accessing the wisdom within can be confounding and often sends us quickly back to the surface seeking answers.
Yet, one of the best ways to enable your personal success and fulfillment and also truly make a difference in this world is to learn to connect to the innate intelligence of your…
It’s rough when you realize the true saboteur of your dreams is an insider. If you aren’t living up to your highest potential and achieving your goals, blame your brain’s own negativity bias.
Positive emotions give us access to the control center in the brain that initiates action toward our goals. Yet, the human brain has evolved to prioritize negative emotions, experiences and memories.
It’s totally within your power to upgrade from this default bias starting today.
And it can make all the difference to your success, health and fulfillment.
It’s easier than you think.
It just requires awareness and…
Some days it requires heroic effort to stay positive and on point with your most inspired life.
Traumatic news reports of conflict, chaos and mass tragedies assault our newsfeed each morning.
We can be left wondering if all our seeking and striving will really make any difference in such a broken world.
“All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow…”
It’s been there so long, that you mistake it for you.
You chalk it up to just how you are.
And others probably do, too.
I just can’t make enough money.
I just have delicate health.
I just don’t have what it takes to succeed.
I just attract the wrong guys.
…and so on.
It’s conflated with your behaviors, traits, habits and tendencies and even your addictions.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately… you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you.”- Eckhart Tolle
I’ll be honest with you, there’ve been many times I’ve doubted my choice to travel an unknown path and march to the beat of my own drum.
I didn’t heed the advice of well-meaning friends and advisors who warned me to follow a more established route.
And, so I’m traveling without a map.
“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” — Eckhart Tolle
I’ll admit it hasn’t been easy.
I’ll admit this too, every once in a while I get really pissed -